Should you or shouldn’t you?

Recently, a follower on my Dayre dropped a comment and I felt that it was rather abrupt/rude.

I was listing down what I do after being a mother and one of the points was…

I know I know, when you air your dirty laundry out there, you are subject to such “comments”.

So the reader commented :

“Tot u shld jus teach ur children to wait instead of entertaining their requests immediately.”

Nothing wrong with asking my child to wait. I honestly think it was a genuine advise. Also because I know of parents who practise such discipline.

But it was the way it was put, “THOUGHT YOU SHOULD JUST TEACH…”

“YOUR CHILDREN”.

Telling me to teach…. “BOOM!”

MY CHILDREN….”BOOM!”

And because the text was plain, like how it’s written, I was of course offended.

So I replied sarcastically and said “Ok sure! Sounds easy! :)”

I know this person meant no harm. He/she ( I have no idea the gender cos it’s an annonymous profile and no posts on Dayre) was just trying to help me “solve” my problem.

Doesn’t matter the fact that I didn’t ask for help, Dayre is after all a community that are willing to help. So giving a tip or two about parenting is always welcomed.

But I honestly rather have parenting tips to be given in a more subtle way. Because we’re all reading it as text. We can’t hear the tone of voice of the person who wrote it, we can’t see facial expressions. So DUH!, I can’t believe I’m pointing it out.

So there’s always a need to explain your opinion, or in this case, if he/she thinks that I should be teaching my children to wait, share a tip on how he/she do it.

I’m assuming that he/she has 3 kids, at least, to be able to drop such a comment.

It’s just like if you want to sell an Apple (the fruit) via writing.

Image source: Google Image

Here’s an Apple, there are many ways that this Apple can be presented via writing.

1. The “Chinese” Way – “HALLO! Want to buy an Apple mah? Fresh fresh one! “
2. The “Professional” Way – “Dear customer, would you like to buy an Apple? It’s fresh from our farm.”
3. The “No Emotion” Way– “Buy an Apple.”
4. The “Anyhow Can” Way– “Nah!We sell Apple, you want you buy lor.”
5. The “YOU SHOULD” Way- “You should buy this apple.”

It’s the same product and it’s all sold via writing.

If you can’t see the difference in the “tone” of how the “sale” was presented, then you have proved me wrong. You win!

So I would have appreciated if the comment about “teaching my children” went :

“How about teaching your children to wait? I went through a similar phase with my kids and understand how you feel. It’s not easy at first but it can be done!”

(Again, I’m assuming that this reader has at least 3 kids to be able to understand what I go through and give me advise.)

In a world where we use text (Whatsapp, WeChat, FB Messanger, etc.) so much to communicate, there’s really a need to put more thoughts into how you send your message across.

It doesn’t help that it touched a sensitive issue : Parenting.

Of course, this post would only be beneficial for those who actually care how the receiving person feels.

We are after all in a world where “rude” is subjective to each person’s definition.