Pause! For your sanity.

How’s life heading back to the corporate world?

A common question asked by many who knew of my “career” background.

It took us a while to adapt to me not being around most of the day.

But I guess the hours wasn’t as long as when I had my kitchen back in Miri. I could still spend little time with my kids in the morning and at night (on nights that I don’t have to stay back for work).

But the driving does take a toll on us mentally.

It’s mentally exhausting to be going through heavy traffic every day.

So to avoid that, we choose to wake up early. Then after a while it made us physically tired.

I know it’s just a matter of getting used to.

I got so tired that all I wanted to do after work was shower and sleep.

And I felt so bad.

Cos the house is in a mess (you can never count on my mum to keep things neat), my clothes that are folded are still in the laundry baskets, I couldn’t be bothered to exercise, I felt sluggish, demotivated and just BLEH!

Weekend with the kids was precious. We try as much to bring them out to see things,spend time with my in-laws. But that would mean the things pending at home remains pending.

I told the husband this and he said..”Maybe you need a holiday??”

God bless him but I knew it wasn’t a holiday that I wanted/needed.

Then he suggested a day off from doing the normal stuff. Just so I can have some “me” time.

And I agreed to it. (Which mother would reject this offer right????)

The day before the “day” came he asked:

“So where do you plan to go to??”

I said I haven’t thought of it. He came up with a few suggestions. Even said..”Day trip to Genting!!”
And honestly, nothing “sparked joy”.

I suddenly blurted out.

“I feel like baking.”

Baking is one of the many ways that I used to use as a “distress” tool. And I missed it.

I realize that I miss doing things for the family.

I miss keeping things in order at home, cooking for them, baking for them. Also, taking care of myself.

So the husband got the message and he brought the kids over to my in-laws.

And for that 8hours, I cleaned, baked, exercised, cooked dinner for the family.

Made Salted Chocolate Chunk Short Bread.

Stretching after a bike ride on the road.

Even though I can’t have meat til Easter, I made my children’s favourite. Bacon & Pork Bolognese.

This for me.

When the kids came home, I felt a lot lighter. Being able to shower them with things that I made for them.

Weekends after I felt a lot less “guilty” bringing the kids out.

I guess it’s a “mini break” that I needed, doing what I loved to do.

I have the husband to thank for this and I guess it helped me emotionally as well cos he offered to let me do this once a month.

Being a working mum is not an easy feat but I won’t choose not to continue. (Practical still wins!)

Sometimes we just need that “mini break”, not necessarily doing nothing but taking that break to do what we used to enjoy doing.

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