The only way is forward

What's a New Year post without resolutions? 
A blur photo

(low resolution, geddit geddit?)
😁

I’ve made mistakes throughout 2018 and I thought it’ll be nice to pen some resolutions down. Kinda like making a commitment. “Ahh Ciku, you write one ah! Better stick to your words!”

So here goes everything!

My kiddos

I’m blessed with children who cling to me and would constantly repeat “Mummy” for 18273916 times a day, when I’m with them.

I have to be honest that I’m irriated by it and sometimes feel like “drowning” having to answer to three kids who can’t stop taking turns calling me and asking me to answer their questions immediately.

It’s even more frustrating when I also have adults to answer at the same time.

So I’ve asked myself, what else can I do besides being frustrated at the situation?

Make peace and embrace it!

In year 2019, I hope that the people I love would make their own marks for the year also.

For James,

If you haven’t already read about my stories about him, I hope to write more in my series of Dyslexia:Unwrapped. It is my journey in bringing up a child with dyslexia.

With his condition, although mild, I hope that by the end of 2019, this boy would be more confident of his own abilities.

And most of all, we as parents, discover what works for him.

I know that understanding James may take me more than a year, but one can hope for progress.

So my other goal in 2019 is to graduate in the online course that I’m studying now, about Dyslexia.

For Lucas,

To finally send him to gymnastics or a certain kind of athletic training. (If you have any to recommend, please do drop me a comment.)

As you can see, he does funny stuff like this during his free time. I know a lot of kids do that but out of my three kids, this boy’s flexibility and strength (although skinny) is the strongest.

And of course, I hope that in 2019, he would finally speak like a child of his age.🙏

For Audrey,

To embrace the fact that she would cling to me forever and ever.

I get so irritated that she would insist to sit on me when she eats . 🙄

But I can’t seem to break this “double-sided tape” behaviour of hers. It seems like forever that she would grow out of it. I’ve never actually liked it.

To the point that I don’t miss her when I’m traveling for work. #assholemum

To understand that she’s so girl that I should stop wanting her to be a little tougher.

I would also hope to be able to send her for a dance class (shouting BALLET!) to nurture that “light and joyful” side of her.

My Familia

I used to think that traveling with my kids is such a waste of money to do so cos they don’t remember it. But now I’m inspired to bring them out on trips more, after reading a few articles and how capturing moments of them, with them would make the best memory for the husband and I. (Who cares if the kids remember la, they don’t remember their problem la.)

We have brought them to a couple of retreats in 2018 but it was never planned properly. So in 2019, it’ll be good for us to begin an annual routine. So the kids themselves have something to look forward to. (Besides, school holidays = no homework. Haha)

And perhaps get a GoPro to document better photos & videos of our trips. 😛

I also would like to make it a point to cook more often, not just for myself but for my kids & husband too. (My mum don’t always eat what I cook. Ah Niang lan si like that.)

Speaking of my Ah Niang, I also hope that I would be able to get more breaks from work so that she can go for her own holiday. Whether it’s visiting my sister, niece & nephew in Korea or just a little holiday with her sisters/friends.

She has been so supportive of me heading back to the corporate world in 2018. Only fair to make time for her to take a break from my little rascals.

A Better Me

In 2018, I’ve learnt that if I don’t take care/help myself first, I wouldn’t be able to help others.

As selfish as it sounds, but how are we suppose to care for others, if we can’t even care for our own?

And by taking care of myself, I mean physically, mentally & emotionally.

So I’ve shamelessly went for a trip on my own last year, leaving the husband to care for the kids. Coming back refreshed and feeling better about myself.

Resetting is required when you are juggling with so many things at once.

For a better me, I also pledge to make healthier options when it comes to food. It starts with me, and hopefully to be influential enough for my family to follow suit.

There are some things that I would like to keep in 2019. Like my career. hahahaha.. Ciku pointing out the obvious again.

It has always been my “motto in life” that if I was to spend time doing something, giving my best should be the only option. Otherwise, don’t waste my precious time doing it.

It is a motto that I would love to keep for 2019 and the many more years to come. I also hope to inspire others in doing so too. So much potential yet to be unleashed. If we could all just find it, unleash it and watch miracles happen!

In 2019, I also pray to keep the friendships that I’ve been blessed with. I’m not that naive to not know that friends come and go. I’m glad that even with friends who “come and go”, I still have those who stuck through my nonsense.

To continue to write & read and be inspired by people that I know, only know virtually, and writings that would give me a different perspective of things in life.

Unfortunately, baking hasn’t been my “go to” destresser these days. I’ve found gardening an easier option.

And how I love watching them grow. Just like watching my kids grow.

Gardening, teaches me patience, happiness, acceptance (cos some of the grass and my mum’s Guava tree died), looking at things more positively.

You may argue that I’m hallucinating that plants are teaching me life lessons, they are just plants la CIKU! Get a grip!

Well, the moral of the story here is to find something that you can learn from. If it’s not gardening, there should be something else that would keep you motivated and going.

Last but not least, telling myself that it’s ok to like/love what majority don’t.

To not be afraid of people “judging” or making unnecessary comments. We all learn from each other. Not everything is meant to stab at you personally.

And of course, Ciku being Ciku, would make some goals in life along the year.

Hey! at least I’ve begun the year with something in plan.

Haven’t made yours? It’s not too late, it’s only the 1st day of the new year!

Blessed New Year Everyone!

Cheers!