I don’t talk about my late father that much now even if I do, it’s me referring to how I am who I am now because of his death.
Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t forgotten him.
And since this is the month of Cheng Beng, I’ve been asked numerous times on where do I go to pay respects to my ancestors/late father.
We go nowhere.
Yup, that’s the answer.
One of my dad’s last wishes was for us to strewn his ashes at the sea. And we did.
When I tell people that, most would react: “Huuuuhhhh???How do you remember him then?”
Ermmm….well, I’m blessed with good memory?🤔
No offense to those who goes to the graveyard/temple and pay their respects ritually every year but I also expect those who do so, would respect how my dad chose for us to remember him.
How do we make memories?
Positive and Negative moments. I think it’s human nature that we remember the prettiest and the ugliest of happenings in life.
My dad ain’t perfect.
Smiling is not his 2nd nature. My dad would always look like he is in deep thoughts.He would frown and rub his forehead every time when we are seated at a dining table waiting for our food.
He would walk around with his RBF (though he doesn’t know that there’s such a term then) and doesn’t carry an approachable look (just ask my husband, what went through his mind when he first met my dad).
And I believe people who don’t know him well, would remember him as…”Mr.Woo, that dude who doesn’t smile.”
And because he’s also a man of a few words, many would remember him as a “quiet man”.
But when he does say something, it would be his honest opinion of things and many would find that his words were a wisdom.
My dad’s treasure hunt buddies would remember him as a master in solving clues and introducing technology to the world of treasure hunt.
His co-workers would probably remember him as one the hardest working person they have ever met. (How often do you have a worker who don’t take a day of Medical Leave for 3years in a row?)
And to me as his daughter, I remember him for all the things he has done for the family,the words of advice that he has given me, the mistakes that he has made, the moments of sadness that he has shared with me and the times we would walk hand in hand, every where we go.
Most of all, I remember him as the one man who has made me who I am today. He didn’t stay long enough to influence me in my decisions today but his death has made me brave and a whole lot more positive than I used to be.
How would you like people to remember you?
Kinda morbit to talk about this but I find it meaningful to have people who I have crossed paths with to remember me as someone who made a difference, with whatever amount of time I had/have, be it in life or working in a company or places that I’ve been and will be going.
Of course hoping that it’s positively rather than negatively.
And even if I left a negative mark in their lives, it would be good for them to learn from the mistakes that I’ve made.
I’m no famous influencer/blogger/vlogger but I’m happy to have some of my readers, strangers who I only knew from my writing and even friends, telling me that my posts has made their day or it gives them a different perspective in looking at things.
I would leave happy knowing that I’ve made a difference in my family, my work place, my friends and whoever that I may not know.
This doesn’t mean that I want people to feel like they can’t live without me. I do hope that they can and they would, somehow find that they are stronger after my leaving (on earth, at work, social media platforms).
Memories of him
We would do the things that he liked on his special days. I would make it a point to have ice cream on his birthday and death anniversary cos it’s his favourite dessert. (Not complaining.I love ice cream!)
In loving memory of my late father, we had ice cream today.
I wouldn’t ask for a better way to remember the first man that came into my life.
🍦Happy Birthday, Daddy! 🍦