Ciku Family, CikuKids, CikuLife

Something’s growing

Inside me…

And it ain’t a baby.
(Sorry to those who are rooting for me to get baby #4. #3isenough #sorrynotsorry)

It’s a sac, it’s a circle… it’s a cyst!

See that black circle? It’s a cyst that was claiming its permanent residence on the left side of my ovary.

I discovered it almost a year ago after suffering every freaking month during ovulation. Finally.. enough is enough.

My gynae did try using contraceptive pills to see if it would help to shrink the cyst but instead of shrinking, the cyst grew bigger. Hence, she suggested for me to remove it.

No growth out of the ordinary is worth keeping...

It all happened very quickly and I’m thankful for a manager and a team, who could understand the urgency of it. #ProbablyTheBestBossandTeam
It was a decision made over the weekend and the confirmation of my surgery was made the day before I go under the knife.

It was a different story at home. I didn’t have time to prepare my kids emotionally. As much as they are so used to me traveling for work, but at least for work, I could tell them a couple of days in advance.

I told them the very night that I had to be admitted for my surgery. It was come home from work, shower and off I go. So I had to deal with three emotional babies.

James cried cos he was fearful that I wouldn’t make it back out alive (well, he’s not wrong. A surgery is a surgery. You do go under general anesthesia and if there are any complications, you may/may not make it back out alive.) I’m glad that he expressed his emotions freely. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with boys crying. So I could only comfort him by telling him to pray and ask for God to protect and heal me.

Lucas was more optimistic. Oblivious with what’s going on. So he was steady. Hugged and kissed me and told me to come back soon.

Audrey, is Audrey. She’s only 5 years old. So her crying & hysterical shouting in the car, when all of them dropped me off at the hospital was purely cos she wants me to be by her side at all times. #clingyfluffeh

At the end of it all, I’m glad that they have each other and my mum, ever ready to help me settle the kids during my absence. My husband, who found a way to distract them, somehow.

A treat from Dada.
Brown Sugar Bubble Milk Tea

A Laparoscopy …

It’s just three holes. One on each side of my ovaries and one in the middle to insert the camera.

What came out?
(The next two photos are not for the faint hearted.)

Supposedly just one cyst..

I went in thinking that I only have one cyst, measuring 3.8cm (almost a size of a ping pong ball) to be removed. Turns out, there’s two of it. One was hiding behind the other.

Are you ready for another gross photo?

Seeing double?
Do you see hair in it?

With two cysts, it measured nearly 5.1cm. Hence, the pain every month. It’s a dermoid cyst, that’s why you can see hair in it.

[A dermoid cyst is a saclike growth that is present at birth. It contains structures such as hair, fluid, teeth, or skin glands that can be found on or in the skin. (Definition from]

My road to recovery...

How am I feeling? Two cysts lighter! hahaha…
Well, to be honest, I was so occupied with work & things happening at home. I get caught off guard whenever I’m asked “How am I feeling?”.

The first few days was tough. My belly was swollen and bloated from the surgery. Had to hold back from laughing out loud because it’s just painful to do so. Besides that and having to walk very slowly, I was back up on my feet and my laptop turned on.

Hi, I’m Ciku. I’m a workaholic.

However, I couldn’t sit up for long cos it’s not easy to maintain a proper posture working on the hospital bed. So I’m forced to sleep, which was much needed. Only to have myself woken up every 2-3 hours when the nurses did their rounds.

Can I go home already?

I was discharged the next day and when I got home, the only thing that I couldn’t do was walk at normal speed and bend. [Oh, also cannot drive & exercise. #sadness] I joked with my colleagues and besties telling them that I feel like I’m 4-5months pregnant.

After a day of suffering at home with a bloated belly, I decided to make ginger, lemongrass and cinnamon drink. It became my daily routine for the next 4 days and the recovery was amazing!

Thereafter, it’s pretty much me working in the day time and resting as and when I get too tired of sitting down.

I get to spend more time with the kids. Which also means I’ve answered to the calls of “Mummy” more than my quota for the 1st half of the year already. #assholemum

Eat also must hold hand.

I’m thankful to be able to recover from a surgery (although minor) this quickly. I know that I shouldn’t take my body for granted but I believe a positive mind would help in healing (any form of healing). There isn’t a need for me to dwell on the pain.

But the more I show the optimistic side of me, the more I wasn’t shown compassion at home. Besides not jumping on me or expecting me to carry them, my kids still didn’t bother to give me a break from having to nag at them, begging them to behave, to not fight, to listen. Oh well, kids will be kids. #canIgobacktoworkalready

But the most unexpected thing was that I also had to mentally & emotionally deal with other demands at home. #surprisesurprise

Having said all that, I’m glad to be able to keep myself self-motivated, finding ways to not let things get to me.

After all, in these two weeks of rest, I’ve had the opportunity to make…..

(sorry, were you expecting me to say …baby? hahahaha..)
and sandwiches..

You can always find the light at the end of the tunnel….

Or in a cave..
(Photo taken from my laptop’s wallpaper. How beautiful is this? šŸ’–šŸ’–)

I hope this post, gives women out there, especially those who are suffering from pre-menstrual pain (if it’s getting more and more painful every month) and irregular menstrual cycle, some courage to get that check-up done. Our annual health check is recommended for a reason. #justdoit #yougotthis #wegotthis

I’m back to work on Monday and am taking this opportunity to wish my fellow female readers…

Happy International Women’s Day!
Let’s stay healthy together. šŸ’ŖšŸ’ŖšŸ’Ŗ

Oh and fold them clothes together.
Ā šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚